"Enjoy every moment"

I LOVE being a mom. I really, truly do. My heart beats for my daughters and I would do anything to keep them safe. There are so many aspects about motherhood that I adore. Moments that I melt over their cuteness. But there is one phrase I hear over and over and over: "Enjoy every moment, it goes by so fast". And here is the truth- that is not my favorite sentiment.

About 90% of the time I hear it from moms that are much further ahead in the mommy-journey than I. Even more commonly it is nostalgically said from moms who are facing a high school graduation, marriage or those who have had the privilege to become grandmothers. 

In reality? I do not enjoy every moment about being a mom. Two newborns crying at 2 am, endless dirty diapers, and (most recently) two tantrum toddlers is not ideal. It is hard! I found myself over the last almost year and a half growing increasingly annoyed with this phrase. Until my girls' first birthday arrived. Even though I had been planning their party since before they were born (I have type-A, over planning issues) it still caught me off guard. I was going through photos of their first year and I was overwhelmed with emotion. Where did my newborns go and how did it go so quickly?! I had the deepest longing for them to be teeny-tiny all over again.

So that is when I realized the phrase "enjoy every moment, it goes by so fast" really means "I can't believe my babies are all grown up. I remember the late night snuggles, the cooing, the endless list of firsts, the joyous sound of baby laughter, and the smell of a freshly bathed babe. What I would give to spend one day back with them being little again. Where did the time go?" 

There are certainly moments where I want time to stand still, to stop in its tracks. I'm not ready to send my twins off to school, to hear about boyfriends, or even drive away from the college drop off. And yet, I know it will be here someday. And when that day arrives I know I will look back with  nostalgia on their little days. The days where it seemed like the hours would never pass until daddy came home. The days where my lap was never big enough. And I am sure I will wish I had a few more moments with my blue eyed, too cute for words, joy-filled toddlers.

For now I will slow down and try to enjoy most moments.